Are you often waking up covered in sweat with your nether regions throbbing, aching for some sexual release? Yes? What kind of sexy dream were you having? Sexual dreams are common; whether you are single, in a relationship, or married, they are normal. Let’s dive deeper into exactly what it may mean.
Most importantly, having sexual dreams is not an Indicator that you are in any way dissatisfied with your relationship or sex life. May I add I often wake up from a wild night having my imagination got the better of me; I don’t question it, nor do I feel guilty about it. Instead, I use it in my writing; this is how my journey first began after all.
Let’s get down with the statistics before we hit the sexy stuff.
There is no ‘normal’ when it comes to sex dreams, though others do experience them more than others, and I can safely say mine occur most nights and are typically the only type of dream I experience or remember. It is found, fifty-four percent of men experience intimate dreams compared to forty-four percent of women.
So why do they happen? Do you feel guilty when you wake up having slept with your ex or someone you don’t even recognise? Do you ignore your partner when they have cheated you? Have you ever had to hide the fact you have had a wet dream or a sex orgasm or laid awake all night having heard your other half groan someone else’s name and have accusations ready to fire in the morning?
Why Do They Happen?
It is found the more vivid dreams occur when you have strong emotions on your mind. This could be a dream that wakes you with a startle or indeed a sexy one; these visions supposedly occur and are found to be symbolic messages from your wise unconscious.
If it is our mind processing these dreams, can we plan them? Wouldn’t it be incredible to have a night with your celebrity crush, or someone you have never been able to get your hands on? Unfortunately, the answer is no, not really.
We have no control over our dreams regardless of how long you lay there, hoping to fall into something your imagining. I know I have tried. Evidently, sex dreams are only pleasurable when they occur. Once you wake up, you find yourself mortified, perhaps guilty that you have had sexual relations with someone you don’t find sexually attractive, in places you would never be and doing things you would never say yes to, kinky.
Research argues that sex dreams can give us an insight into a person’s state of mind, reflecting anxiety, desires, and predictions. In contrast, others say sex dreams unpack intense emotions and feelings, including an understanding of relationship statuses with colleagues and friends. According to this, it isn’t the meaning of the sex dream which unravels your feelings; it is the way you feel about the dream its self.
What are the most common sex dream, and what do they mean?
It’s not wrong thinking a sex dream is merely wishing for my gratification within the sex department. Though this is often disputed stating there is no correlation between sex dreams and one’s actual desires.
Dreams are a way for the mind to wonders off, and while in some cases they may make sense to you and seem like something you may wish to happen, they are more times random with inspiration being from something you have seen, watched, or perhaps a distant memory.
For some, dreams of a sexual nature function as a release, allowing them to stay in control and faithful in real life. Though you can come across dreams where you experience intimacy with someone you hate, this showing that these types of dreams don’t mean what you think they do. So what can they mean?
Being Cheated On
This is a common dream, which has provoked me numerous times, to say the least. These can be stimulated by cues when conscious, which may lead to you questioning your partner’s loyalty, though this does not mean it is true. Instead, it may be a lack of trust within the relationship, and these dreams may occur in both partners if this is the reason.
Someone You Hate
What the mind thinks is what the mind dreams, though if you hate them, how can this be true? In the situation of your sexual partner being about someone you dislike and would avoid in every scenario, this dream stems from your negative emotions. Let’s say you and this person are colleagues, you argue, and you lose; your unconscious descriptive maybe “I’m fucked”; therefore, the dream is using your feeling as metaphorical play. What’s more, the act within your dream will also portray your experience with this person. Despite the dream being disturbing to think about, take a moment to think of you were the active or passive partner; these will determine if your dream is emphasising success or humiliation over said, partner.
Sleeping With Someone Of The Same Sex (if you’re straight)
First off, if you identify as straight, this is a common dream. As an individual, we come to learn more about sexual attraction, gain an understanding of sexuality, and become to explore sexuality, so unconsciously our dreams are using these thoughts. Though it is said the other person within the dream is not another person but In fact portrays you, the dreamer. This kind of dream helps us discover things about ourselves, such as, are you self centred, do you need to love yourself more and build confidence.
Sex In Public
Sex in public is not alone a common dream but also a common sexual fantasy, so this could be your unconsciousness tapping into your sexual desires. When this is not the case, it could be the fear of feeling vulnerable within a social situation or a warning you have been exposed. On the other hand, nudity in public may also be revealing a wish to be free or indicate the want to shock other people- more attention-seeking behaviour.
Sex With Your Ex
They are known to be most commonly occurring when sexually frustrated. When in a relationship, you develop addictive behaviour, which builds up over time, this promoting psychological and emotional closeness. When the relationship fails, the sexual attraction can’t be dropped easily, so dreams regress to earlier times.
Sleep Orgasms and Wet Dreams
These occur not just in puberty, and not only in boys, as most would suspect, but this is also far from true. People of both genders and all ages can experience sleep orgasms and wet dreams, these being ‘nocturnal emissions.’
For men, the semen on the bed sheets are an obvious indicator; for women, it is harder to know if you reached orgasm as vaginal secretion can also mean general arousal. It being more of a psychological change within a woman to indicate orgasm, increased heart rate, and increased blood flow to the vulva. During rapid eye movement during sleep, an increase of blood flow to the clitoris leads the brain to sexual arousal, leading to orgasm.
Orgasms happen when pressure and friction are triggered during dreams. Some believe sleeping on your front encourages orgasms while you sleep where others believe if you try and think of a specific subject before falling asleep, you can control your dream. Either way, sleep orgasms are normal, and not everyone experiences them, and it’s nothing to worry about if you do or don’t.
So there you have, don’t feel guilty about who or what you dream about tonight, simply figure out what it means in the morning or just enjoy it.
Sweet dreams, or shall I say sexy dreams.