So… Your best friend has started to dress in skimpy clothes and use slang, all in order to regain her lost youth. How can you tell her she is gaining attention without offending her?
“Why, Maureen, don’t you look… trendy,” I say, shocked at the skimpy outfit my best friend seems to have deemed appropriate for afternoon tea.
“Thank you, it’s new, from the boutique on manor walk.” She twirls, her skirt rising far enough to glimpse the pointless underwear she is wearing.
“Manor walk, you say? Isn’t that where the youths of today shop?”
“Yes, my niece took me there. The clothes in there would make you look so hip.”
“Hip?” I ask, trying not to take notice of the crowd laughing and tutting at her.
“Totally hip, we can go after lunch if you want; they have those knee-high boots you said you liked.”
“It’s okay, I’m too old to wear the fashion of today, and dressing down will never find me a suitable husband unless I want to marry an eighteen-year-old,” I try, hoping she will get the gist.
“We’re the same age, Veronica,” she pauses, looking in her compact mirror, redoing her eyeliner flick. “Are you saying I’m too old to wear these clothes?” she says hesitantly.
“What, no, of course not. Though I do know you’re wearing pink knickers,” I cautiously admit.
“Oh god, no, really?” she says, embarrassed. I nod, hiding my grin behind my mug. Maureen catches my wondering eyes and looks around, seeing the appalled expressions of those old enough to be our grandparents, and shyly waves at our peers across the room, feeding their toddlers.
“Why didn’t you tell me before,” she cringes before bursting into laughter. “Quick, give me your long cardigan.”